I don't know where my life is headed. I'm trying to open up my arms and embrace the mystery, but it is hard. I guess I am the type of person that wants to control everything or at least know what is going on. My relationships control my emotions. My relationship with my mother, my relationship with my coworkers, my relationship with men. I wonder if everyone is the same. I'd like to think that I don't care what other people think, say, or do. At the end of the day though I don't think anyone can honestly say that. I'm in a city that I don't care for too much, going to a school that is going to make my mother proud, beginning relationships that I know won't last, and I've stayed at a job that drives me crazy only because I am comfortable. I am not saying that I am not happy because this is the first time in a long time that I have been satisfied, but is satisfied happy?
Quote of the day: "Time waits for no one. Even as I write the clock is ticking, and the second I had two seconds ago has came and gone." --Me
I'm back people!! Just for today though because I have access to a computer at school. Yes, I know its Summer but I have Summer classes (what a blower) so to put one blower over another I realized that I am here June 2 trying to go to class to find no one is there, so I storm down stairs and ask why and come to realize my class starts june 15. Urghhh. I could scream. Seriously. And to add insult to injury this class starts late so it runs into the other sememster. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to stay calm, but I'm getting sick of this college thing.
"I concentrate on more realistic things. Like questioning is there anything here worth salvaging? Is it over? How do we go about deciding? Do we add up all the good times then divide them by how many times we hurt each other? Or do we just ignore the numbers, and vow right now that nothings gonna to take us under? Can we agree to just disagree?"