Before it gets too deep...

Disclaimer: Ok people that may read my blog may think, "WOW this girl is always sad and depressed" I do want to say that I'm not really this sad on a day to day basis. Like if you talk to me I'm all smiles, but I do have inner issues that I can't really express to alot of people, so I write them on my blogs which ultimatley makes me look like a pyscho, crazed, adolescent on the brink of suicide. Nope! Not at all. I love my life. I love my family, and my many friends. I have alot of issues with relationships that I'm trying to work out which affects a major part of how I'm feeling on a day to day basis, but that is only a very small portion of my life, and what I do and think about everyday. I just don't want people thinking I hate my life because that is not my intention.

Marcus Emery

I hate you; really.

Update: I do want to commend you on the things that you did for me in our relationship when it was going great. I had never experienced any thing remotely similiar to the feeling I had when I was with you, but the ultimate best thing you ever did for me...was leave me.

Picture provided by PostSecret

It gives you wings...

Blogging at work? Nah not really we don't have Internet in my area. So I decided to blog on paper. hehehehee. What a loser. It makes the time go by faster though. [Ugh I hate it here] I've been down lately. I need Jesus and a drink. Yea I know that's horrible, but I gotta keep it real at all times because if you don't then people will call you a hypocrite and you won't lead by example. You can't act like your holier than thou and everyday you've been at the top of the mountain. Today is a smooth day here. Busi-ness is slow. I have so much to do the rest of the week and weekend regarding school, my new gadget [the wii], and generally getting myself together. My mom is coming tomorrow. I really don't know how to feel about that, but we will see how it goes.
Ugh I hate feeling this way. It doesn't get any lonelier than this. I hate the ups and downs of my emotions, and when I think about what controls it makes me wanna barf.
Anywho what goes up must come down right? I guess...but I wish I could grow wings so I can stay up all the time. Red Bull?

...I'll Holla

I always find quotes around and sometimes they don't apply to my life, but I get epiphanies for other peoples lives. I read it and automatically think of the person it applies to. I found on today and you know who you are:

Quote: "Successful people don't have fewer problems. They have [just] determined that nothing will stop them from moving forward" "Gifted Hands" -Ben Carson

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Energy

"Now I can feel you changing me, and I can't afford to slip much further from the person I was meant to be. I'm not afraid to walk alone. Not giving up; I'm moving on before gets too deep."

Energy

Keri Hilson

2 plus 2 negatives = Life in April?

I haven't blogged in a while. Well like wrote a real blog, you know? Well anyway it is 12:27 AM now Thurs and I'm still up from Wed. I decided to write everything that has been going on in my life lately. Or anything you all may have missed.
Well in the beginning of April end of March? I got to spend some time with the one and only Marcus Emery. It was very exciting, nerve wrecking, and relieving all in one. Some of you may not know and some may know, but this boy gets on my nerves. I really think he doesn't know how to push my buttons, so I can't blame the innocent, but it's such a coincidence that he hits it right on target every time. Nonetheless, we are like best friends and I love him in a way that I have never felt love before. And what people don't understand is that it is not about what he can do for me, but it is because of who he has been to me. I wish I could make you understand, and sometimes I wish I could make myself understand. And I know people say in their heads, "My God just let it go", and I really wish it were that easy. Honestly. I did enjoy my time with him being that it isn't that often.
Another plus is that I rekindled another relationship that dwindled due to technical difficulties and similar situations that hinder us both, but we manage to still show each other love and respect. He is growing on me though. Who knows where the relationship may lead. It could go far or it could go a few inches, but only time will tell. It is crazy because time is the solution for everything and we sit and wait and wait and wait with so little time, but it truly and genuinely helps us understand, heals us, and gives us a way to get our thoughts together. What a beautiful invention! Time. Just had an epiphany...during the blog (Sorry, Mina.)
A negative is that I need a new job. A lot of people are like "Your crazy. You got a good job. There are so many people out here looking for a new job and you have a good one, and you are still not satisfied". Okay so yea, I need another job. If I don't I'm going to commit suicide in my cubicle. I absolutely hate it there now. Don't get me wrong I have developed very nice relationship with my co-workers, and I enjoy doing what I do, but I am bored out of my mind. So I applied for a few jobs yesterday let's see whether I get any call backs. Wish me blessings!
Another negative is that if my brother doesn't do anything about his girlfriend's attitude soon I'm going to cut her legs off.

I'll holla.

Men of God

I cried the first time I saw it